May 3, 2009

<<<<<Well looking for a doc. in my harddrive i came across this 'poem' I knew the copy i had i threw away when i was packing to move to So.Cal. I'm kinda glad i found this.....its still as fitting now as it was 3 years ago when i wrote it. and wow so much change has occurred... well for the Noble Family of 4 so much has changed, all wonderful and for the better!---- as far as the 'husband' it seems he actually hasn't changed except for the worse as far as parenting and co parenting responsibilities go. --- and i continue to move forward with lots of hope!

May 3, 2009

6 years ago today you took my hand and heart your way.
It was a new beginning for a song that had long lost its beat.
We shared laughter and tears
in the hopes of together riding out the remainder of our fears.

In my heart i believed we would be different,
we would last and change the legacy of our families past. 
But in my head, oh how i did dread so many things,
not to mention the tossing of your ring.
I thought i could do it, I could make it work.
I could accept you and the situation and with that make the best of it.

the love in our marriage was carried thru Brianna, Jacob and Karma. Somewhere along the line i lost you and knew eventually we would be through.
I tried and tried despite how you lied and lied.
It wasn't with purpose that you meant to hurt me,
I know it was all just to overwhelming for you to see.\

Its true actions speak louder than words
but boy your words certainly leave a sting.

There is so much that I am responsible for.
Once it was known to me, I had an improved ability to see.
together we tried, sometimes we even cried (well i did),
but be it as it were not even Seattle or Vegas could provide us with a cure.

I don't know how and when through the ups and downs the decision was made and soon the remains of this day would begin to fade.

Last year we were in Vegas and it was great
but upon return, in no time did it turn to hate.
This is our history, our legacy we hand down to our children.
It is with them in mind, I know this is right, they no longer need to be a part of the fight.

the way I want to live doesn't seem to match that of your choosing.
theres no more energy to give,
cuz we just keep on losing.
Its time to dissolve the vows we took, thereby letting both of us off the hook.

though the children we still share, they will forever be our mutual care.
I hope we can be better parents to them divorced,
than when we were husband and wife.
the time has come for my role as wife to end, and yours as husband to seize.

it would be great at some point if we could be each others friend.
But for now its time for my head and heart to begin to mend.

I am moving on, as much as it sucks to be alone I feel no different than when you were still living at home.

there is possibility and opportunity now, for us both
let us move forward with lots of  hope