I was wrong...

I once mistook tough for strong now I know I sure was wrong.
Thinking you always must be in control can really wreck havoc on a misguided soul
Learning how to manage it all happens after a great many fall
Today is my day and no matter how it goes you simply have no say
Things once thought to be out of reach are the very things I am now able to teach
Each day is mine for the taking cuz its a whole new day of opportunity  in the making
The best is yet to come though there's been plenty of greatness where I'm from
I can remember the days of abuse if that's how I wanna provide an excuse
We all have a story that combines agony and defeat yet the simple truth is here we are on our own two feet
My new chapter started in 2011 and I swear in the beginning it felt like heaven!
Shortly thereafter the consequences of earlier choices dealt me a swift blow for this to happen was something I could not know
Down on my knees I did beg with a pretty pretty mercy please
Relief wasn't received without a fight though in the  end I did prove to be right
Here I am in round 2 of an unexpected battle of mine all cuz someones doing quite some lying
This isn't heaven cuz I  ain't no saint this is my personal paradise and it aint one anybody can taint
Now I know I ain't tough, (perhaps a little)  but there ain't no mistaken my strength  is now fully awaken...

So fitting for my nemesis! "If this is what you wanna hear I'll serve it on a golden platter; Does it really matter what we think about eachother?..." oh Limpo! Sucha shame you wanna continue playing this game!
Watch "The 'U' - What 'U' Wanna Hear [feat. Ali-Z] (prod. by: Oren Spiegel) #NoDaysOff" on YouTube

Please Dont Take MY HAPPY AWAY!!!

Last night at the Inn!!!-- Here I am the last night of our Spring Break 2013~ Whoohooo~~!!! (NOT). I honored my word which was to bring our children up here for a visit with their dad and their grandmas etc. Originally the week stay was arranged by me because I had a court date on 4/11 and assumed I would have to appear for that (before I retained representation), and the San Francisco GIANTS had their HOME Opener all during my childrens spring break. We stayed this long because their dad was working last weekend (as I understand anyway, he might not have been and only led me to believe such), and he was off this weekend--so we are still here!!

 I went to 2 games this week and my son went to 3 including as a raffle winner in a Comcast Sportsnet Suite!! (I have always dreamed of watching the GIANTS in a suite!! I saw the 49ers from a suite once before, though the fun was kind of drained since the person who brought me as their guest was hung-over and actually threw up as we parked the car at Candlestick. -But I tried to make the best of it anyway! My son and I are all about the GIANTS, but my son and I have a lot of fun doing a lot of things and we will have a lot more opportunity to do so. So, I encouraged his dad to take him even though his dads initial response was “I don’t care”. Sad, dad “didn’t care” and I would have LOVED IT! But being the good mom I am I sacrificed my dreams/desires so my son could have a once in a lifetime experience with who should be the most important man in his life, his dad. My ex didn’t even say thank you. I doubt he realized how difficult and painful it was for me to sacrifice such an opportunity for him. But-I made the best of it! Because that’s what a good mom does. Makes the best of it. Its going to hurt for awhile, it may sound silly to be so sore over a suite seat at a GIANTS game but that’s my life! My kids, the GIANTS and my work. And basically, in that order too! I am lucky to be grateful for the great experience my son had, a memory he gets to keep for ever and one he can share with his children when he’s a dad. One of the many, SF GIANTS memories he will have!

My Ex, much to my surprise has done seemingly well with the kids. He was a little short and rather intense with me a few times, though I don’t think its personal its just how he is. I was very upset, very hurt to hear from our children “Daddy and Grandma HATE you, I mean oh boy HATE HATE You. They think you are the rudest ever”, after just a couple of days of the kids being with them. I was shocked. Not that they think that way but that they spoke that way in front of our children-to the point where our children repeated it to me. OUCH. Again, after everything I have done for our kids and to make this visit happen. Not to mention the last time their dad and grandma saw them-in Dec, was on a count of me! I make things happen. And I made these things happen! And I am making the choice to never have them happen again.

 I moved our children away for their health. I wanted us to live a healthy lifestyle. I could not manage to do so in Sonoma County, where so much of the family is toxic. Healthy minded and toxic personality do not make a good match. No longer capable of employing denial as a coping mechanism I chose geographical distancing! I chose San Diego for the great weather the beautiful beaches and because I have always said San Diego is the closest to being in Hawaii you can get while still being in California! The move down has been amazing. The first year was very difficult due to the unexpected noncompliance of court order my ex took. I didn’t expect that. However, I managed. This second year, began rocky, very rocky. On the one hand I had much of the noncompliance with my Ex resolved and on the other hand my Ex’s attorney filed a lawsuit against me. So this, along with the financial issues left over from the first year are the main blunders in my pursuit of health and happiness.
 Our kids are doing so well in school, still behind their grade level academically but they have made significant improvement and have impressed and surprised everyone. My son is on the student council and won the Peace Builder Award this year, while last year he, well lets just say it was incredibly rough for him for all of us. My daughter is doing well with her attention and focus! She can comprehend and follow multi step direction now!! She’s still extremely high energy and impulsive but since the chaos of P town living no longer surrounds her she has settled down into being a wonderful sweet and kind little girl. My oldest daughter has amazed me!  She communicates now on a regular basis which just brings me to tears. She’s hardly been sick at all! Now we return to Sonoma County for this visit, and she got a little sick. I’m still not sure what it was and she still isn’t 100% over it. But I declared she is allergic to Petaluma! And I also told her she doesn’t have to make this trip again. And that is my choice. We are not making this trip again. I’m just not putting all the preparation and planning into it nor am I putting out the money for it. I really wanted to go to Big Bear or The Grand Canyon! Anyway, this is it. The last night at the Inn and the last time I do this, for him. Yes, yes I know I did it for “them” and “him”. the only issue I have with that is that HE doesn’t do much of anything for “them” unless I bring them to him. I’m not sure what kind of father lives almost 4 months without seeing his 3 children? There likely will be a cost to pay due to this extended visit which is also something I’m not interested in enduring either (transition time). There may not be, I have our children on a pretty good track it basically is a matter of how much harm was done our kids when they were with their dad and their grandmas. I don’t miss Petaluma at all. Yes it’s a great little city. A city I called home my entire life. Little did I know abut the world that’s out there and where I belong.

When we first got here, and I began to write this we were staying at the Sheraton in Petaluma. I couldn’t help but find humor in the irony that the first time I stayed at the Sheraton was when my oldest threw a party so that interrupted the ‘night away’ that my then husband and I had hoped for (I left our evening to discover a houseful of huffing teenagers). I was at a wedding once at the Sheraton, my daughters BFF’s wedding, the same BFF who helped organize the party years earlier! For me the truly most ironic was the last time I was at the Sheraton -it was my 20 year reunion. And my Ex ruined it for me, like he did most things.  Or should I say most things that made me happy he had a way of doing something to take my happy away. Well, not this time. I stayed at the Sheraton and it was a great experience with my kids. And now we are here in the Hilton also another awesome hotel, between watching the Jodi Arias trial (un-kid-interrupted) and being by the pool listening to the game the only thing that could have made today better was a successful Romo save and another GIANTS win!! I look forward to wrapping the visit up tomorrow, seeing some friends and hitting the road. However, the most important thing for me is that no matter what my ex can no longer take my happy away! (well, to be accurate I will not tolerate anyone to take my happy awayJ

A LESSON TO LIVE WITH...

                                                  I’m gonna go psychodynamic with you…
                                                  After I go completely literal, but
First I’m gonna begin a bit mystical….(or ironical…)

The court date of  "Limpo" vs. Noble was scheduled for 4/11, which is also Spring Break-so I offered to bring our children up for a visit with their dad. (ironic right there if you ask me, because of their dads attorney suing me-I am compelled to return, thus my divorce drama continues!)

The court date changed, "LIMPO" vs. NOBLE is now set for 4/23. The irony with that, is, that it is also my birthday. Yes, I admit at my age birthdays are not what they used to be, but I can certainly think of many other things to do or places to be rather than facing off with "Limpo"! But then again I think, wow, what better possible Birthday gift to ME than being present when "Limpo"
has his a** handed to him!
         So where’s the mysticism I promised- it’s so weird-I have experienced numerous ironic, beyond coincidental, down right ominous happenings connecting milestone dates and events within the context of my Divorce Drama. To quickly name just a few, I signed up for our divorce on 2/5 (2009),  in 2011 I bought my new car, a 2005 on 2/5, it also happens to be a Mazda, which is what my first (real) car was in 1987. Our divorce was final on 12/30 (2009), and Leoni filed his first post-divorce motion on behalf of my ex on 12/30 (2010). We had mediation on 5/3 (2011), and we married on 5/3 (2003). On 12/26 (2010) Karma (then age 5) was thrown by my ex, and on 12/26 (2012) my ex who was represented by the Law Office of  "Money Sucking Limpo", was handed his a** as we returned to court for his noncompliance. That was the last I faced off with "Limpo". Sadly, it was just the last of 2012.

Coincidentally, while my ex husband is no longer being represented by “MONEY SUCKING LIMPO”, my ex has communicated with me in an appropriate and respectful manner. He has followed the judges orders, and he has made all the required payments. We even managed to productively solidify visitation arrangements, as complicated as it was --but with cooperation and without contention. (I have written before in this blog, that my ex has failed to comply with almost all of the judges orders, almost the entire time I have lived in So.Cal. At one point the behavior of my ex was so disturbing I sought a restraining order (April, 2011) to prevent him from further harassment and verbal abuse-- both my ex and  "Limpo" simply failed to communicate to resolve many issues choosing instead to litigate).

Today, the first appearance as my divorce drama continues is set for 4/23/13, and I will turn 43 on 4/23/13. I wonder, are the dates of these events simply random or are they meaningful. I know in the words of Carl Jung, "The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it"     --CJ

My next blog will take you completely literal as I share a brief message on Personality Disorders, according to the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The DSM is the cook-book of diagnosis’ for mental health professionals. Its similar to the Chilton manual for the mechanic or the penal code for the law enforcement officer. Personally I prefer what the founder of Reality Therapy, William Glasser  calls it -- “the BIG BOOK of Unhappiness”.    

Stay tuned*

Chuckles for Chucksake

Chucky: Hi. I'm Chucky, wanna play?

Remember that movie? (or actually, how could you forget!) Childs Play! Huh anything but! Chucky is a character with the possessed soul of a serial killer yet he’s dressed up like a simple childrens doll! Chucky tries to infiltrate the little boy who retained him as a toy, all so Chucky can be human. Silly concept! The soul of a serial killer could never be human? Doesn’t “serial killer” by definition mean inhumane?

　
I had a weird night of mixed sleep! Which is not uncommon being a single mom of 3 kids. Although, when all was said and done this morning and I had time to think about the weirdness in my own dreams I realized it was Chucky I dreamt about! Chucky the killer doll! (and I hate SCARY movies!! Even slapstick scary! Hate! Hate! Hate!) . This would explain why I woke feeling so out of sorts. Like I was run over by a Mack truck, then slapped with the mud flaps of said mack truck, feeling very black and blue, soft, sore and vulnerable yet suffered no physical pain.

Whenever I have a bizarre, seemingly come-out-of-nowhere dream I try to think and process through it, what led that on? What might that be about? How can this help me? Does it make sense? Sometimes I turn to dream definition / interpretation resources, but usually I find just by quieting my mind and focusing on the images this allows the feelings to surface. I then can theorize what the meaning might be.

Carl Jung my all time fave Psych Father says dreams are a way of “self healing“. 

“Dreams serve to guide the waking self to achieve wholeness and offer a solution to a problem you are facing in your waking life” .--Carl Jung

       

I love to dream, nocturnal and day dreams! I am often guided by my dreams…that is I do serious soul searching and often an answer or a direction is discovered through my dream process. A few years back I had a vivid dream that I was a big fish and I was swimming to the top and flapping aside any trash (obstacles) blocking my way. The obstacles were steel like boxes, similar to a military trunk and they were topped off with the face of my supervisor and the executive director of the agency I was practicing at, (each obstacle-authority figure-was positioned on each side of my stream) . At the time I was making the decision to stay with this agency or embark on my own into an individual practice. When I woke I felt exhausted yet rejuvenated at the same time. I felt I had entered the grieving process yet simultaneously I felt a renewed source of energy. My decision was clear to me after that dream, (and I NEVER regretted that change!)

So what’s Chucky got to do with it?? Well, ironically, the attorney who is the plaintiff in this seeking-several hundred thousand dollars-against me law suit is named Charles. I didn’t make the connection between Chucky and Charles right away. I pondered why would I dream about Chucky and Child's Play? I back tracked through my day to see if there was a trigger I could identify, then with no success there I considered the big stressors in my life to see if there was any relevance. (Being sued is definitely distressing). Uh-HuH!! ----I remembered the discussion I had earlier with a very wise man. I was discussing the terms of a so called “settlement offer” that was presented to me. It didn’t much seem like an “offer” to me, it sounded more like extortion. Nonetheless I could not let pride lead my ego and had to give it considerable thought. My conclusion led me to cry out, “but what about justice?”, --well, this wise friend of mine said as he laughed, “justice. Oh no you have to take justice out of the equation there is no room for justice…” or something to that effect. This was disheartening to me, like a child who learns the truth about Santa Claus. On an intellectual level I was aware justice has little to do with this matter, just as I was aware Santa was not entering through the chimney we did not have, but on an instinctual level I felt justice could be done, just as I feel the spirit of Santa Claus remains no matter how old a child is.

If its true- Justice doesn’t play a role in the hundreds of legal battles that are litigated on a daily basis? If so, if not for Justice then for what?

As I processed through the enlightenment of making sense out of my dream I then became irritated with the practice of law. I have said countless times that lawyers are like psychotherapists, there are way more than is needed and sadly there are a great many who do the practice a disservice, (there are bad lawyers, and there are bad therapists. Each one can appear competent and capable, even genuine yet not all are.) Almost everyone I know, if not everyone, has known of an experience with either a bad lawyer or a bad therapist or both……..

Sidebar:
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
Lawyers occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.--------- Winston Churchill

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what a people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them; and these will continue until they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. Men may not get all they pay for in this world; but they must pay for all they get. ---------Frederick Douglas
When one comes to think of it, there are no such things as divine, immutable, or inalienable rights. Rights are things we get when we are strong enough to make good our claim on them. ---Helen Keller
Those who would deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, cannot long retain it. ---Abraham Lincoln
The law, for all its failings, has a noble goal – to make the little bit of life that people can actually control more just. We can’t end disease or natural disasters, but we can devise rules for our dealings with one another that fairly weigh the rights and needs of everyone, and which, therefore, reflect our best vision of ourselves.------- Scott Turow

　Why is psychotherapy a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.---

A psychotherapist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychotherapist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychotherapist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: "That's his problem."----

What does the Lord require of us? To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with our God.----Micah 6:8

Karma grows from our hearts. Karma terminates from our hearts.-----Buddha

　

Dreams can work for us. We can create a dream and through daydreaming we can visualize
what our future could look like. If we are experiencing difficult times in our life we can keep a dream journal which could help us work through some distorted and problematic thinking. Other times we just dream and upon awaking we can process the relevance in connection to our current life situation. And then, again, sometimes a dream is just a dream! ---

This Childs Play dream episode of mine is ending with the final words of
Chucky: “Go ahead and shoot! I'll be back! I ALWAYS come back!... But dying is such a bitch!”

Till Trust Do You Part…..

“I take thee, ….to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part...”

I propose we change the traditional vow to the more realistic yet less glamorous condition- “until trust do us part”.

In our society today more marriages are ending due to a breach of trust rather than the breach of life (or in other words, death).

Trust is an interesting verb, or noun? What do you think? “We have issues of trust” (noun) or “I trust him no matter what” (verb). Sounds a lot like how we fallible humans error with the whole concept of LOVE too. “I love him” (used as a noun) when followed with “…I am not in love with him”, (verb). Who do you trust? I mean really trust? Do you trust yourself?

I trust few people, and even less men. I am not about to embark upon a man bashing blog here, as easy as that can be for me. Its more about matters of the heart, I mean trust. Well, actually they go hand in hand. Can you trust someone you haven’t opened your heart up to? Can you trust someone who hasn’t opened their heart up to you? Can you trust another if you are unable to trust yourself?

Two of my Psych Fathers have different theories on developmental stages for individual growth and well being. Erik Erikson describes the first stage of psychosocial development as being the most fundamental stage in life, and rightly so it is Trust vs. Mistrust. This is a conflicting developmental milestone that occurs between birth and one year of age.

The developmental stage according to Freud’s theory that occurs during this same time period of birth to 1 year is the ORAL STAGE. According to Freud the primary source of interaction up to 1 years age occurs through the mouth. The infant seeks satisfaction and finds enjoyment through oral stimulation, such as eating and sucking.

         Both Erikson and Freud agree that survival without dependence on another is not possible. Freud reckons that because the infant at this age and stage is entirely dependent upon another they are also provided with a sense of trust and comfort. Erikson believes the development of trust is based on the dependability and quality of the one whom the dependence was sought from. Erikson’s theory says a child will successfully develop trust by being cared for by consistent and emotionally available caretakers. As a result, the child will feel safe and secure. If care is inconsistent, rejecting or provided by emotionally unavailable caretakers failure to develop trust is likely to occur which will result in fear and inconsistent and unpredictable behavior.
         Freud on the other hand, believes the primary conflict at this stage is the weaning process-where the child becomes less dependent on its caretakers. If the weaning process is strained and a developmental crisis occurs this can cause the child to become fixated. If fixation occurs at this stage the child would develop into an individual who could have issues with dependency and/or aggression. Symptoms would include a sarcastic, neurotic, sadistic personality. Oral fixation can result in problems with drinking, eating, oral sexual practices - you name it.

As I stated earlier I trust few people, and even less men. My father should have been the first man for whom I could trust. My father was a smoking, workaholic, unpredictable, emotionally unavailable man. I did not learn how to trust from him. Financial dependency maybe, trust? No. In my teen years I had no relationships with the opposite sex that were formed on a mutual basis of trust. My relationships were all based on dependence. When I had my first daughter at the age of 17 I quickly learned that my love for her was far more important than my lack of trust in him. He quickly became irrelevant and remains as such.
        There was one man I trusted in an intimate relationship and ironically he was/is my ex husbands best friend (he was my boyfriend first!). Sadly when I had dreams that I wanted to chase he didn’t want to join me in the race. I wanted to continue my education he wanted me to work full-time. He wanted to buy a house, I wanted to earn a college degree. He wanted to stay home and be lazy, I wanted to go out and be active.
        After other short lived co dependent relationships I found myself in relationship with one I thought I could trust. I only thought this because he plays the role of an innocent one so well. And he needed me. He depended on me. It wasn’t that I trusted him, it was simply that I could control him. My ex husband was very unpredictable and inconsistent. He was also a smoker and he is a drinker. He would always suck on hard candies too something our son began doing shortly after we moved, fortunately our son has stopped that obsessive like behavior. As for me, I was simply a workaholic, compulsive over-eater. (oh and yes, also very controlling).
 Looking at the theories as described by Erikson and Freud, its no wonder neither my ex nor I trusted each other. We hadn’t developed the basic sense of trust. Not as a noun or a verb. Although we were dependent on each other (as in co-dependent not inter-dependent) our hearts were not open for each other nor were we emotionally available. Three children and a Masters Degree later I developed a basic sense of trust. Along with learning to trust I became emotionally available. I realized my workaholism was an acceptable excuse to avoid the intimate relationships with my children and my husband. Wanting my children to feel safe and secure I made the effort to be consistent and emotionally available for them. I remained partnered with my profession because my husband remained the co-dependent, passive aggressive individual he had always been.

Thinking about it now, I guess “…till death do us part” was the more appropriate vow, since we hadn’t the ability to trust each other, or ourselves.

Today I received an amendment to the complaint against me, by the attorney who represented my Ex husband. Reading the amendment was quite upsetting as for the most part it was a repeat of already stated accusations/allegations, what was most alarming was what seemed like verbatim text content between my ex husband and I. I thought to myself, how could he know this? Unless he has my home bugged or phones tapped my ex husband, or someone close to him must have passed it on. So, as if it would help I called my ex and I explained there are statements that he (former attorney) could only know if you told him. My ex denied talking with him. Then he backtracked and said “unless I may have e mailed him something”. Despite my ex’s continued denial of doing what I suspect, all I could think of is that this is the same man who has lied to me over and over about innocent things (yes the kids brushed their teeth, yes I made that call) and more not so innocent (I don’t know what happened to my wedding ring, I don’t know how I lost my phone). I thought no matter what he says I cant believe him, because I don’t trust him. I never trusted him. At first I was unable to trust him because I was emotionally conflicted and didn’t trust myself. Then, as I learned to trust others, his lies and his unpredictable behavior remained consistent leaving me feeling insecure in our relationship and unsafe in our home. I was unable to open my heart up to him, and I think he was simply unable to open up his heart.

 I now trust myself, therefore I  know I can trust another.

　

　

So. Ca Moms Defense Fund

Erin Brockovich where are you?? I need you!!! -- Ok, perhaps not as much as the people of Hinkley, CA. How about Richard Gere in his role of Martin Vail in Primal Fear (one of my all time favorites)---“that man can make anyone look innocent!” . Or Tom Hanks as Andrew Beckett since he’s an attorney who, “loves the law because every now and again you get to be a part of Justice being done! “ (Philadelphia)-- Those are big names and I couldn’t afford them nor does this matter seem to be as sensational. I would settle for Josh Charles (Will Gardner on The Good Wife) because he’s.... he’s a very Smart man!--and ironically all I really want to do is to be a good wife----

     For now I will be the best Mom I can be!   Though doing so at this time is rather strained since I have this lawsuit against me that I must DEFEND, (If I do not answer to it then I could lose by default. Of all the things I have learned from my divorce drama one of the most valuable things that I discovered was that I can lose and feel fine with it but only if I do so by actively participating and not by losing by a forfeit (default).  If I chose not to defend myself the complainant is seeking hundreds of thousands of dollars which is what he likely would be awarded by default. It’s an interesting matter what’s going as one can sue anyone for anything but the question remains will they prevail, can they prove it? And can they recover damages? – In my case I do not have any money to defend it nor does the complainant have a good chance of a full recovery (or any recovery) whether that’s by a trial determination or a judges default award.   I am seriously lacking the funds to adequately manage this. This  lawsuit against me is not a civil matter that I can self represent, and therefore I have sought legal representation. Retaining legal representation seriously compromises my ability to pay rent, feed my kids etc.  The complainant is well aware of my financial situation since he was privy to my income and expenses. He should know I cant afford to fight it, nor could I afford to lose it.

You are probably wandering what did I do to be sued?---  I am being sued by an attorney in Sonoma County for Libel and Intentional Infliction of Distress, the case # is SCV 252874 and all (these) matters are open to the public and not of a confidential nature.

On the last date of a court hearing scheduled for my family law matter in Sonoma County on December 26, 2012 I was served a summons and complaint, (minus the ADR- alternative dispute resolution fact sheet) by my opposing counsel. Simply said, my ex husbands attorney of record (at the time) is suing me for actions that rose from our family law litigation from 2009 to 2012. 

During this time period I learned a lot about family law, child support enforcement, criminal law, contempt motions- and discovered the meaning behind protracted litigation.  At this time as I am facing allegations of defamation and inflicting emotional distress intentionally, I am learning even more about our judicial process and our civil rights. I wholeheartedly deny these allegations, and I intend to provide truth, as my absolute defense (for defamation).  I believe the complaint against me is one of those lawsuits where the complainant (my former opposing council of record) has goals that he will feel he has accomplished if ‘the defendant succumbs to fear, intimidation, mounting legal costs or simple exhaustion and abandons the criticism’,  (CASP).

 If you or anyone you know may want to help this poor (single) So.Ca Mom out  (me) it would be put to a good cause---and so unbelievably gratefully appreciated! (or if anyone can provide a loan--my word is good! (yes total pun :)

 

There’s  a great line in  Philadelphia that goes something like this, ‘Pride has lost more cases than lousy evidence, idiot witness’s and hanging judges all put together. There is absolutely no place in a courtroom for pride’.

I gratefully and I humbly ask for contributions of any amount towards defending this complaint against me and to repeat a partial great line from Philadelphia, I can provide for you this opportunity--- “because every now and again you get to be a part of Justice being done! “................

Thank YOU for reading!!! Please pass 'er around! Desperate Mom = Desperate actions! -- there is a paypal button to the right or contact me at vnoble70@gmail.com for alternative arrangements.  

kNow’in it the Noble Way

I do not need to prove myself, I just need to be myself

 That which I have said--Will prove to be what you will dread

 You claim what I've said is a lie, Time will provide all the answers as to why

 The oppressed leads to the depressed, depression can be relieved by genuine confession

 People strive for growth--Especially those under oath

Perhaps I watch to much law and divine order on TV

  And there’s something I'm unable to see

What shall prove to be for me, one more test

Shall prove to push me- into being my ultimate best

I do not spend my time asking why-

Nor do I take an exaggerated sigh, This doesn't effect me any to cry

For I know I live no lie--You on the other hand,

May take some time, because clearly there is much you don’t understand

That which you think is done--

Is in fact just the beginning of some unintended fun

When you pick on another

It’s not smart if its someone’s mother

You make think not much of the accused --this quite often happens--

When personal and professional boundaries become infused

Fate is often what determines our mate

Yet choice is ours to use for hate

Some people are selfish and have unrealistic wishes

Others are selfless and can handle whatever someone else dishes

Sometimes we proceed with negative intention--

Often forgetting everything else that we will mention

Others get caught in the mix-And for that there's no simple fix

*especially when Rules are broken and you can’t take back that which has been spoken

 Striking out at an unarmed one -Can provide no excuse for what's been done

Shooting off to one who's smaller --

Will never make you any taller

Your efforts will not provide you with a feeling of just,

Even after all is settled and there appears to be no more dust

The soul is never ending

The heart is always mending

Law suggests when you are in line--- order shall happen within time

Some FEEL only by the externals they chose to use---

Yet this will definitely only allow you to lose

When you know who you are--

the truth is never too far

Looking forward to the days ahead,

kNOwin’ all that will be said

A win is a win

yet not one accomplished under sin

Looking towards the sun ---because what’s to come will be so much fun

No worries how to go about it

especially when your passions been hit

Lets go….this will be quite the show….Sparks will fly and I can show you why

Once this has been started its hard to be peacefully departed,

The process is often so very long,

With no side completely wrong

Change will come about and there will be no need to shout,

come to think of it, neither party will need to pitch a fit

There will come a resolution with only the ultimate force deciding the conclusion

And when it does comes to an end, you may find yourself with a surprising new friend!